I’ve recently come to the understanding that all of the conflictual issues within this world, both interpersonal and relational, are associated with a clash of opinions. Whether it be disagreements on how to govern our nations, how to behave or even as petty as how to dress, eat or speak, we are all, in honesty, driving each other mad. However, this too, is just merely my opinion.
I more or less came to this understanding when a friend decided to express her distaste of the names of the kids I babysit. I hope that the issue with this is obvious. No, I was not offended, I never am since opinions are just that. However, the need to always have an opinion is a need to discredit somebody else’s opinion. It’s not like their names were complete gibberish. Your opinion simply does not matter.
So why would I care about your opinion of something as silly as somebody else’s kids’ names, my all denim jumper or the shampoo I use? This is not life or death. Your opinion does not make you superior or special. You are not unique, we all have opinions. And please do not interrupt me with yours when I am just trying to tell you about my nightmare babysitting experiences.
If you have read the popular book titled The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz (a book that I think everybody should be required to read) then you’ll be familiar with this notion.
This life, this reality, is nothing but a dream-like state of higher consciousness (feel free to disagree but this is my opinion so again, I don’t care). The only absolute and objective truths we have are material. The rest of reality is based on our interpretations of these truths, which is the basis of our opinions.
So why do we let opinions beat us up internally? And why do we feel the need to express our opinions on just about anything and everything? Because there will always be someone who loves or hates your name, your denim jumper or the hair products you use.
Moreover, in Plato’s Republic, Plato states (this is not the exact quote) that “even the most beautiful woman is plain – or not beautiful – when judged against certain standards.” Think about that. Whether you’re a boy or a girl, there will always be people who see the beauty in you, while others will only see the ugly.
Some people prefer height, pale skin, blondes, and youth while others prefer brunettes, blue eyes, dark skin, and maturity, etc. You are not perfect to everybody, just as everybody is not perfect to you. Do not let that beat you up. You are not responsible for the perceptions people have of you, while others aren’t responsible for vice versa.
So to put it concisely, we all have flaws or quirks or different interpretations of what is best. To accept that not everybody will embrace you completely and to not judge people too harshly on their differences is the true meaning of positive relations.
The fact of the matter is that companies design clothes knowing that somebody will buy them, so your opinion on what people wear does not matter. Popular singers write music knowing that somebody will listen to it, so your opinion on what good music is does not matter. And artists make art knowing that somebody will appreciate it, so your opinion does not matter.
Just as you wouldn’t want to be judged on clothing, music or your art, don’t judge others.
P.S. Please have opinions, I am the most opinionated of all. But do not feel the need to express your opinion over the little things that degrade others.
We are all in this together. We all love and hate different things. So c’est la vie.