I know what you’re thinking, what the fuck is this? Used is your muse? What does that even mean? Sounds lame as shit.
Well, hear me out:
Sometimes I feel like I am nothing more to other people than a mere joke. At all times I feel like the entirety of my relationships are just resourceful. And in most, if not all cases, my friends walk out of my life faster than I would have theirs.
In simpler terms, every single issue I face, the same issues that keep me from sleeping at night, can be summarized by the fact that I feel used. Used by friends, family, men and even by society, myself and my overactive brain.
The same overactive brain (my enemy), which convinces me in my sleepless nights that not only am I useless to others because of x y and z but I am useless to myself. It tells me that maybe all of my days of pure happiness have been used up. Maybe I somehow deserve to never resurface from this deep dark trench that is self pity and regress.
So I forfeit.
I forfeit from going through this alone, because I can’t be the only one.
The only one who feels completely isolated from rationality. Who feels like they’re the first person people give up on. And who feels like an absolute waste of a human being.
So, this is my last attempt at channeling this negative energy into something that is useful. Something that is conducive. Something that might make me happy once again so that I can start useing my time hear on Earth wisely.
These blog posts will be intimate. They will go into full detail about exactly how and why I feel used and by whom. It is a means of public self-reflection. Please be kind.
Do join me. Together let’s turn the negative aspects of our lives into positive muses that keep us keeping on.